Updated: Nov 16
There is, but not of fingers, hands or even your cock to start with.
As I slide my body over theirs over their neck, chest, belly and genitals, I gently breath warm air onto their skin. I pause looking at their genitals and then into their eyes, take a deep breath, greet and welcome all of them in. Is everyone landed or someone is still missing? How can we invite all our parts: our hearts, minds, bellies and genitals in?
No rush, we can take the whole night or more if needed to have all of you present here.
When I see them relaxed, smiling, excited, I slowly lower my hands over their genitals, hold them still for a few breaths. Then I might play with gently kissing around the whole area, licking slowly, then increase the speed and intensity. In a few minutes I pause and ask: “How can I make this better?”
“You’re doing it divinely” - a kind of response that I usually hear.
Busting myth №1: No magic stroke - your loving attention is magic.
Above is an example of how I love to play with a lover. Divine is not the technique. So far technically I’ve done things that any adult with decent motor function can do.
Divine is my loving attention (heart, mind & belly online), my readiness to take time for them, without expecting anything in return and my playfulness.
And all of the above are skills available to humans, so much so that your intimate life can improve manyfold in just one month of practice, and then keep improving.
Ok, I get it. But please can you teach me how to give pleasure to a pussy?
If that's the answer, then you didn't get it. I cannot teach you how to please any pussy, cock or even a finger until you get the point above.
Giving pleasure to genitals takes presence and not having agenda for what you would do with them next. Or at least being able to put that agenda aside enough to focus on giving. That is a mind and heart training primarily. Then finger training happens naturally. And an ethical way to get there is start training on your body. When sensitised, your belly, balls, inner arms like very similar things to pussies. Once they can feel enough pleasure from you so that you start moaning & shaking without even touching genitals, then you're ready to give awesome pleasure to others.
Busting myth No. 2: Neither you nor I can make anyone orgasm.
A nourishing orgasm requires openness to feel pleasure and surrender into something bigger than us. We can support someone to experience divine pleasure, but we can never guarantee its attainment. So relax and don't hold yourself responsible for something you can't control.
There is no magic stroke, no magic technique. Magic is inside of you, get in touch with it if you want to be a supreme lover. Courtesans used to say: "to give pleasure, one must know pleasure".