Why this happens to most women?
This is one of the deepest areas of my work, one of the strongest reasons why I continue doing it despite all the challenges it brings. Most women have experienced numbness or pain in their vagina at some point. And a huge proportion, I dare say majority, of women experience their vaginas as painful, numb or both for years and not infrequently decades.
There is a very valid reason for that: VAGINAS ARE ONE OF THE MOST SENSITIVE AND GENIUS PARTS OF OURSELVES.
She is hurting or doesn't want to feel because she was hurt before and not supported back to health since. Due to lack of sexual education, societal sexual shame and repression, most vaginas have been treated poorly:
They were not always honoured with love and appreciation they deserve as life giving part of a woman's body.
They were often entered prematurely.
They were penetrated too hard or too fast, or both.
They were exited too fast and without preparation.
And such poor treatment may have come from partners or from the vagina owners themselves. If you're a woman, the lines above might arouse strong emotions. It's okay, I know it hurts, I'm with you. If needed, take a few deep breaths and make a sound on the out breath, growl or roar if you feel like it. Many of us do in such moments of recognition.
Let's just acknowledge an important truth: most of the world had a shitty preparation for nourishing, caring, loving sexuality. And we've all made mistakes, that's what hurts or causes numbness inside of our vaginas.
Case 1: Anna, 38
Anna had her sex go to a complete halt after a recent heartbreak. This was unusual: normally she'd start dating a few days after a separation. But this time a thought of another male body nearby made her cringe. As she was working with me at the time, she knew it's best not to push and let the process unfold. While following my self-pleasure programme she'd most often dance and lightly touch her body, maybe place her hands on her vulva, but would hardly enter for weeks. This again was unusual for her as usually her vagina loved being entered. Anna chose to listen.
One day, around 7 weeks after her separation and at the end of her bleed, she felt excitement and aliveness in her pussy. It was a nice Sunday morning and she chose to lounge in bed and enter. First she felt and exquisite pleasure as she moved her finger slowly around the soft warm tissue just inside the entrance. Then she moved further in, continuing with gentle, slow, stretchy touch. She went along the groves of her g-zone and started to increase the movement towards penetration, but this touch felt sensitive and unpleasant. She immediately stopped and placed her finger on her g-spot listening.
Sharp sadness and tears came, she let them come, be felt and flow. It was the first time Anna was in this space of connection after her ex boyfriend's cock was last inside. Her vagina held the pain that needed to be listened to. And so she did. Their bodies loved each other deeply, their smells, skin, hormones were perfectly compatible. When that body stopped coming near, her vagina missed the connection massively. Anna let the grief be felt.
While she kept her finger with light pressure on the g-spot, the pain gradually subsided, she massaged herself for some time longer, then listened if there was anything else. Her pussy was silent, enough for today. Anna felt calm and happy: her pussy is coming back, she's ready to release him and move on.
Conclusion
The good news: our vaginas are sooo wonderful, so capable of healing that we can return to their happy, healthy state any time, even after decades of mistreatment or neglect. Thanks to thousands of brave sexual bodyworkers in the past 60+ years, we've accumulated a wealth of knowledge and tools that can support your way back to healthy, strong sexuality that will not only feel ecstatic, but power up your life no matter what age, body shape, relationship status, etc you have. As long as you breath, you can have an exquisite sexual life.
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