Embarking on a journey of self-discovery and healing can be both daunting and enlightening. My personal voyage through the depths of depression and towards a life filled with purpose and joy is a testament to the power of inner work, emotional processing, and the transformative potential of Eros. This article is dedicated to anyone struggling to find their light in the darkness.
The Catalyst for Change
At 32, a seemingly random conversation overheard from Bruce Lyon, a figurehead at the International School of Temple Arts, sparked a pivotal moment in my life. He asked, "Do you want to be here?" This question, simple yet profound, arrived at a time when I was grappling with the aftermath of a significant breakup and unknowingly standing on the precipice of a deep depression. It forced me to confront a truth I had never consciously acknowledged: I had never truly desired to be alive.
Unearthing the Root of My Struggle
As I delved into the depths of my psyche, I uncovered a childhood wound stemming from feeling unloved by my father. This revelation came at a time when I was most vulnerable, having just ended an eight-year relationship. The breakup not only left me heartbroken but also opened the floodgates to a depression that was dark and suffocating, filled with suicidal thoughts.
The Journey Through Emotional Processing
In the throes of my depression, I turned to emotional processing as a lifeline. Through practices such as dancing, self-pleasuring, hitting pillows, and crying out to the sky, I began to navigate the tumultuous waves of my emotions. This practice was one of the main components for me then and I teach it to pretty much every client that works with me. I embraced self-love from my inner masculine, father, and the divine, documenting my journey in a journal that became my mirror and guide.
Confronting the Concept of Suicide
The idea of suicide, a taboo subject for many, became a topic I explored openly with my best friend. This period of contemplation led me to understand the deep-seated survival instincts that ultimately deterred me from following through with any plans of self-harm.
Finding Love for Myself
As I continued my practices of emotional processing, the heavy burden of my emotional baggage began to lighten. I discovered a newfound love for myself, transforming how I perceived rejection and love from others. This was a significant milestone in my journey, marking a shift towards self-acceptance and love.
Healing Through Eros and Mystical Intelligence
My exploration of healing did not stop at emotional processing. I ventured into the realm of Eros and its mystical intelligence, finding joy in teaching others about conscious sexuality and the beauty of integrating this wisdom into everyday life. This aspect of my journey underscored the importance of embracing our sexuality as a source of healing and transformation.
The Ongoing Journey
Today, I continue to embrace life's emotional rollercoaster with practices that keep me grounded and connected to my essence. The journey has taught me the importance of facing our darkest moments with courage and the transformative power of love and acceptance.
Conclusion
My journey from the depths of depression to a place of healing and self-discovery is a story of hope and resilience. It serves as a reminder that within each of us lies the potential to overcome our deepest struggles and emerge stronger, more connected to ourselves and the world around us. Through the power of emotional processing, the embrace of our inner wounds, and the exploration of Eros, we can find our path to healing and fulfillment.
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