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How to Improve Your Stamina: Part 2 - Lasting longer in bed

In part 1 of this series, I've introduced the main concepts and the motivation for one of the most common requests men come to me with - premature ejaculation. Struggling to keep

the fireworks going until you're both ready for the grand finale? You're not alone. Many find themselves crossing the finish line too soon, but fear not—lasting longer in bed is a skill you can learn, not a talent you're born with. Here's a casual, practical guide to extending your pleasure and that of your partner, ensuring both of you enjoy a more fulfilling sexual experience.

1. Pre-Game Prep: Empty Your Bladder

First things first, make a pit stop at the bathroom before getting down to business. A full bladder adds unwanted pressure on your pelvic region, especially your prostate, which can fast-track your journey to climax. By emptying your bladder, you reduce this pressure and the likelihood of an early exit.

2. Deep Breathing: The Foundation of Stamina

Forget shallow, rapid breaths; deep, controlled breathing is where it's at. This technique isn't just for yoga—it's a game-changer in bed. Deep breaths help relax your body, distribute pleasure beyond your nether regions, and keep premature ejaculation at bay. Start this practice during foreplay and maintain it throughout your intimate moments. It might feel like a workout at first, but the benefits are well worth the effort.

Deep breathing works by activating your parasympathetic nervous system, which is responsible for the 'rest and digest' response, counteracting the fight or flight response that leads to rapid ejaculation. By focusing on filling your lungs and exhaling slowly, you not only calm your body but also focus your mind away from the brink of climax. Imagine your breath flowing through your entire body, spreading warmth and relaxation from head to toe.

Every 5-10 minutes, but especially as you get to 7 or 8 out of 10 on the arousal scale, pause anything you do and take 10 deep breaths with your partner, looking into each others eyes in the meantime.

3. Vocalize Your Pleasure: The Power of Sound

Silence might be golden in libraries, but in the bedroom, it's overrated. Making sounds of pleasure isn't just a turn-on for your partner; it's a strategic move to release tension. From deep moans to heavy sighs, vocalizing helps keep the tension from building up in your genital area. Plus, it enhances your connection, making the experience more enjoyable for both of you.

But why does making noise help? Vocalization serves as a release valve for the sexual energy that accumulates during arousal. By expressing pleasure audibly, you're not just communicating your enjoyment; you're also dispersing the energy that often leads to a quick finish. This doesn't mean you need to perform or fake your vocal expressions. Instead, let your breath guide your sounds. As you breathe deeply, allow each exhale to carry a sound, whether it's a sigh, a moan, or simply the sound of your breath. This creates a feedback loop of relaxation and pleasure, keeping you grounded in the moment and away from the edge.

4. Slow and Steady Wins the Race

Rushing to penetration is like skipping the appetizers and going straight for the main course—you miss out on all the delicious build-up. Take your time to explore and appreciate every inch of your partner. This not only builds anticipation but allows you both to establish a deeper connection. When you do proceed to penetration, start slow. This gives your body time to adjust and prolongs the pleasure for both of you.

5. Pause for a Cause

Feeling too close to the edge? It's okay to hit the pause button. Use this time to focus on your partner with your hands or mouth, or simply enjoy a close embrace. Remember, deep breathing and making sounds can also help during these pauses, moving the energy and maintaining the intimate connection.

6. React Positively to Ejaculation

If you do cross the finish line earlier than hoped, your reaction can make or break the moment. Instead of wallowing in disappointment, celebrate the pleasure of the moment and reassure your partner of your continued interest in their pleasure. A positive attitude can quickly turn the situation around, potentially setting the stage for another round.

Incorporating these strategies into your intimate moments can significantly enhance your stamina and overall sexual experience. Remember, like any skill, it takes practice, patience, and a willingness to learn and adapt. So, breathe deeply, communicate openly, and enjoy the journey to a more satisfying sex life.

In the next chapter, I will expand on the pauses and what to do when surprises happen. Stay tuned!

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