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Does the way you breath lead to full body orgasms, premature ejaculations or somewhere in between?

Updated: Sep 23, 2023

Note: physiological processes in female bodies are not that different as far as the topic is concerned. Premature ejaculation can be equated here to a shallow clitoral orgasm.

The most underrated aspect of our sexuality is... breathing. Yes, sexuality is actually not that different to how the rest of our bodies work. And (unless professionally trained), we can't live without air for more than a few minutes.


A bit of nerdy detail.

Due to porn & other sexual miseducation sources, most of us think that great sex is fast and intense. This is a limiting belief to say the least. Great sexual experiences depend, among other things, on a balanced activation of sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems. One is responsible for arousal and the other for relaxation and feeling of safety. Sympathetic arousal on its own will get us a (few) second(s) of ecstatic sensations when our muscles contract and there is a relief, often followed by tiredness and withdrawal. Frequent sympathetic arousal with no balancing relaxation leads to overall energetic depletion (a burn-out). It's the dance of the two that can bring us to Heaven for hours or days on end, eventually enabling our residency up there.


The gist of it.

Most people suffer from sub-ventilation, i.e. not breathing enough. This problem exacerbates in sexuality, where intense sexual pornographic ways are presented as superior. Conscious breathing keeps you connected with your sensations, spreads them around & thus fans the energy up to higher & higher levels. On the contrast, shallow or nearly absent breathing together with continuous muscle contraction accumulates the energy in your genitals thus causing its explosion in a form of ejaculatory penile or clitoral orgasm, sometimes within seconds.

I haven't yet met people (out of hundreds) for whom conscious breathing along with muscle tension and relaxation (more on that in the following blogs) was ineffective in increasing their ability to enjoy sex longer.

A full body orgasm can be achieved with 30 mins of fast deep breathing. When consciously breathing during self-pleasure, a simultaneous breath & genital orgasms can be achieved.


How to breathe.

In a nutshell, the sympathetic nervous system activates during an inhale, and parasympathetic - during an exhale. Thus you can play with the balance anytime & anywhere. Feeling tired and need more energy? Increase your inhales to 6-8 counts, keep your exhales to 3-4 counts. Feeling agitated or anxious? Make your exhales double of the inhales. If you can't do 6 counts inhale/exhale, you can start with where you're and build up slowly. Make your long one to be 4 and the short one - 2. And there is no hard upper limit, one can easily get to 30-40 count inhale/exhale or much further. The best guides here are the way your body feels and life practicalities.

There are dozens of breathing techniques that support energy circulation, relaxation, and sublimation during intimacy. Here are a few suitable for beginners:

  • Deep breathing with no pause, all the effort on the inhale, relax on the exhale.

  • The 2nd is the same, but faster, fire breath.

  • Uddyiana bandha, a very famous yogic technique, supports sublimation, i.e. bringing the energy up the body to the crown. It can be done during a slow-down in a sexual act pause and afterwards.

  • The Big Draw is an amazing way to complete a sexual intercourse or a self-pleasure practice. It is superb in bringing the energy higher into your energetic system in the end of a sexual act. The Big Draw is a very popular technique from Tibetan buddhism. It's a go to tool for achieving the state of luminosity, i.e. a powerful energizing of the higher chakras felt as becoming one with eternity, divinity, etc.

To built a healthier breathing behaviour, I recommend practicing these techniques on a daily basis for 1-2 months. Once they become a second nature in your sexual life, you'll never want to go back.

In the upcoming posts, I'll cover more breathing techniques & other pillars of sublime sexuality: movement, muscle contraction and sound. In the meantime, you can try implementing all of the components by following my conscious masturbation demo on the bottom of the homepage. A more extended version is presented in my personal favourite, the one-month mindful heart & body pleasuring programme.

Happy playing!

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