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So how did I end up here? On the honor of offering a loving presence.

Updated: Nov 12, 2023

Nearly every person that ever worked with me wondered about how the heck has a quantitative scientist ended up being a sacred sexuality bodyworker. Here I'll share my why.

Between 5th & 6th grade, in my summer reading list there was a historical novel "Thais of Athens" by Ivan Efremov. Thais was a famous courtesan (ghetera) in Athens of III century B.C. Although I didn't understand the deeper meaning of her path at the age of 11 and didn't even know she was real, Thais became my ideal of the feminine beauty and strength. Thais was a priestess of Afroditi. She was at the service of Love with her mind, her heart and her guts. Gheteras could be artists, spiritual adepts, political activists, and she was all that. The story of her life flickered as a quiet flame of inspiration inside of me for decades, while I finished all my degrees and worked as a quantitative researcher.

Then in 2013 I accidentally ended up on a tantric retreat. Yeah, funny, I know! I was the only novice there, and nearly ran away on the morning of the last day thinking "This crazy stuff is definitely not for me!" Maria, the head of the school then said to me something like this: "You're free to go of course, but I would just suggest just being yourself, act fully out of your heart, challenge yourself, but stay in your truth". These words can be placed on the wall as the golden rule of tantra if not the whole of life. And so I stayed.

The final ritual was one of the most beautiful, heart bursting and mind-blowing things I've ever experienced. While on a physical level it looked quite simple and not at all orgiastic (sorry to disappoint), energetically it was magic. The magic was created by the polarity of the masculine loving presence & the feminine trust to open up and show herself. This polar dynamic is core to many processes in our daily lives, and therefore practicing it will support our mastery elsewhere.

After that night I knew that tantra is in my life to stay for good. I signed up for the course.

One of our favourite treats in the school was.. the tantric massage! I quickly realized that, when offering one, I AM LOVE. It's naturally flowing through me. All I need is to be present and follow it. It felt exquisite to offer masculine loving attention first to my colleagues and then to my clients. It's a huge gift and honor to see bodies drop their armour, relax and open up in trust. Then an exploration can start, new sensations, new roles, new insights. Deeper & deeper, layer by layer starts showing up: sweetness, beauty, vulnerability, grief, anger, love, pain again, another insight, more beauty and more wonder... and all that exists inside one body, waiting for us to start looking.

Over the next ten years, I immersed myself into studying various tantric & other spiritual traditions and the science of brain functioning, sexuality and emotional intelligence. There was another undiscovered universe. It became clear to me that our highly modern society is in its infancy when it comes to the sexual potential. And there was a lot I wanted to and could do about. So here I am.

To conclude, I'd like to draw your attention to the polarity of masculine loving presence & the feminine revealing. Have you experienced any or both of these? And if so, do you have your favourites?

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