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Learning Self-Regulation for a Happier, Calmer Life.


Self-regulation is the ability to manage one's thoughts, emotions, and behaviors effectively. It's a crucial skill that can lead to a happier and calmer life. In this article, we'll explore some valuable tips for learning self-regulation.

Tips For Learning Self-Regulation.

1. Practice Deep Breathing: One of the simplest and most effective ways to regain control of your emotions is through deep breathing. By taking slow, deep breaths, you can activate the parasympathetic 'rest and digest' state of your nervous system. This helps reduce the fight-or-flight response, promoting a sense of calm. However, it's important to note that deep breathing may not be suitable for everyone, so if it activates stress for you, consider trying other techniques mentioned below.

2. Stay Grounded: Grounding is a mindfulness practice that encourages you to fully engage with the present moment, both externally and internally. Pay attention to your senses—what you can see, hear, smell, taste, and touch in your surroundings, as well as any internal sensations, movements, and emotions. Start with external sensations if focusing internally feels uncomfortable, and gradually build up to internal awareness. Just like building a muscle, sustaining awareness takes practice and time.

3. Experiment with calming sounds or your voice to ground yourself. Sound is a dense vibration and thus can be very efficient to help you feel here & now, in your adult body without imminent danger. Lower notes support activation of our belly and genital area. Find a way to hum in your free time a few times a day.

4. Engage Your Neocortex: When intense emotions threaten to overwhelm you, particularly in the case of trauma, you can activate your thinking brain to regain control. Simple exercises like naming colors in your environment or counting objects around you can help activate the 'thinking' parts of your brain, preventing an emotional escalation. Consistent practice, especially during non-emergency times, can help you remember to use this technique when needed.

Ways to feel grounded:

  • feel your bottom in your chair,

  • look outdoors, notice the sky, trees or roads, trees,

  • feel the tension in your muscles, and

  • hear the sounds: wind, cars, neighbours.

5. Monitor Your overall health. Be mindful of how your stress levels, sleep patterns and diet impacts your mood and anxiety levels. Lack of sleep, tiredness or stimulating food & drinks may trigger anxiety. However, these effects are highly individual. Keeping a diary for a week can help you identify any links between your consumption and your emotional state.

6. Prioritize Self-Awareness: Self-regulation is an ongoing process. Continuously work on self-awareness and adjust your strategies as needed. Regularly assess your progress and be open to making improvements. Learning self-regulation is a journey, and it's important to adapt to your evolving needs.

7. Seek Professional Guidance: If you find self-regulation challenging, don't hesitate to seek guidance from a qualified professional. They can provide personalized strategies and support tailored to your specific situation.


Learning self-regulation is a valuable skill that can enhance your overall well-being. By implementing these tips, you can take control of your emotions, reduce stress, and create a happier, calmer life.

Frequently Asked Questions

  1. What is self-regulation, and why is it important? Self-regulation is the ability to manage your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors effectively. It's essential for maintaining emotional well-being, reducing stress, and achieving personal goals.

  2. How can I practice deep breathing for self-regulation? To practice deep breathing, take slow, deep breaths through your nose, filling your lungs, and exhale slowly through your mouth. Focus on your breath to calm your nervous system.

  3. What are some examples of grounding techniques? Grounding techniques include paying attention to your senses, such as what you can see, hear, smell, taste, and touch. It involves staying present in the moment.

  4. How can I incorporate TRE® into my self-regulation practice? To start practicing TRE®, consider seeking guidance from a certified TRE® provider. They can teach you the techniques and ensure you're doing them correctly.

  5. Is self-regulation a one-time achievement, or does it require ongoing practice? Self-regulation is an ongoing process that requires practice and self-awareness. It's a skill that you can continually improve to enhance your well-being.

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